i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
