It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I woke up under a house in Key West
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