I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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