Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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