you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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