I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
