I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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