this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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