After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
