Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
my liver is dry heaving
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
