i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Two words: nipple clamps
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