i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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