Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
