Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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