We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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