This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
