Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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