I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
