My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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