i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You are a genius and a whore.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
