he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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