it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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