Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
