My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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