it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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