i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
