Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize