I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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