i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
