Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
