Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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