i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
