I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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