hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Panties = found
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
