We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
