That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
