Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
