i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
