when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Randomize
