Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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