Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
