You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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