This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
