I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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