I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize