I think i peed on brittanys purse
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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