So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
