i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
