how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
