This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
