i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish you could order shots online.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
