It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
