i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
