my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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