He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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