worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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