its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
