i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
