They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
