and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize