DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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