I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
