Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
