i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
