i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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