i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Randomize
