Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize