Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
