Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
