Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize