Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
