I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
