i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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