Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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