So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize