im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
