I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
