I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
